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windows overlooking the gray sky.
4. 509.
M.
. Long history.
warnings.
Delilah looked like a sweet girl. Small was a troubled girl who was not satisfied with anything which continued to play until he fell rendered in bed and always had a smile for the elderly, and flattered that he repeated over and over again as they often do adults always-how pretty she was.
Then, in adolescence, he began to not really knowing what he wanted. It felt as if I was back around, as if she had kissed all the boys in his school, as if he had rubbed shoulders with the best-and more harpies-girls in her class, as if his life had become so monotonous that nothing-not even get link to the great Drew Grant-was a challenge.
For
So when one man who looked more like a child pervert the editor of a magazine stood by him in the cafeteria a November 22 as she took a lemon sorbet and his fingernails, and said he was very nice, I had very seductive lips and if they had been raised to become a Book to send to any journal, Delilah's life turned around 360, no, rather than 720 degrees.
At first I loved it. She loved to send him photos, which are pending for it. Although it was difficult and cost scale, worked hard, got up at six in the morning when needed and just not having time to study, stopped. I was afraid that her face kept appearing in magazines mediocre popularity, they continued to pay him so little and I had to stop being a model and having to go back to school, he hated, but that did not happen. His way of moving attracted, how they look like, her full lips ( that mouth is pornographic, John , had heard from one of the cameras during a photo shoot, porn, I tell you ) and vicissitudes of good luck of fate made it possible that one day a woman with blue jacket that looked over the man asks, his voice dry girl, do you want to work in America?
All people need a reason to live your life, and at that time Delilah became a model. He knew his parents did not want-or at least did not want it as much as his younger brother, and therefore the best would want herself she was. The first person who gave him the good news was to Asad, who had a mixed relationship of love and jealousy, he had always been envious of him and his way of doing things, their life balance. Part of her hoped that, with the news, change the tables, and outside who put him jealous to think that, with only nineteen, Delilah and went to live abroad. But it was not. Asad was good even for that, and hugged her and gave her two kisses on the cheeks, as I used to always put that content.
Once, several years ago, Maggie, his mother had confessed that she felt calm and had never been disturbed or was going to worry much for her like her father, because small , Asad is there, is your little brother but both know that is there to take care of you, to protect you, Delilah . She sulked. "Do not be macho, mama, Asad does not have to protect anyone, because I'm old enough and care that neither my friends or my boyfriend hurt me."
I'm not referring to that, said her, shaking his head as he always did that Delilah would not understand, listen to me, daughter. You have a restless spirit, a spirit of balance, and Asad will become a man with his head on his shoulders, with the balance in his veins and he, your brother will give you the security you need. Protect you, yes, but of yourself.
Delilah went alone to California. At bottom, it was said, I've always been alone. My mother was French and was rare. My father was immersed in his work and just pulled her head to look at how quickly towards Asad gave a flawless future. But today, I am not alone anymore.
And was not. He made so many friends it seemed that the agenda of his mobile was saturated. The festivities were fun, the canapés were delicious, loved to dance, I loved the makeup and pose for an advertisement for a clothing line for the cover of a magazine for girls in their underwear. She paid no attention to what was good, it was touching the line fingers and that was surpassed, and precisely why it was not refused to snort cocaine (which in those days was very fashionable) in the toilet seat girl service, with the perfect party music resonate your ears.
His birthday fell on February 14, and maybe that's why it took so little time Delilah in love with Ariel. He was a boy from the scene, though not exactly of the highest levels. Trying to climb from below, and although no studies had was very good at dealing with people, was too wordy and very easily to tell lies without noticing. It was not difficult to get, just cost achieve to have sitting next to him on the couch in the VIP room, whispering in his ear as he put his hands under her skirt and stroked the inside of the thighs. He was blond, had curly hair and dark eyes. She was lost in it, the holidays, photographs and drugs. Because there were many drugs and too much alcohol.
With a five dollar bill bundled and placed in the nose, with Ariel in his legs and signs of a perfume ad yelling how beautiful it was, Delilah went one, two, three years. She thought she was not alone; is convecía itself that was so and was happy. Asad called at least once a week and now I knew that I loved without reservation, because both he and she were successful, because the two were happy and did not have to vie for the love of their parents. The only thing I did not understand was why Delilah cried every night for two, why he sometimes called his brother to three in the morning and desperately begged him to go see her, why we moved on to heroin, arms pinch (always careful not to be marked.)
Suddenly his life is no longer seemed so perfect, not nearly as happy. The monotony of the beat as it had done years ago when I was a teenager believed to be already had lived through. Was sighted, but did not appear. She had been saving money because I wanted to move out of that tiny apartment that the company had rented. I wanted a change of scene, to prove to herself that life was not finished model for her and often dreamed of making TV ads, even to become host of a program, because I was tired that you do pictures, because now , to see them, looked flat and dull.
Asad, who visited her whenever he could, went to her for her birthday number twenty. This time Delilah hated being born on Valentine's Day, because he did not see couples (who seemed to have suddenly multiplied) holding hands, did not like to see the windows filled with pink and red, did not like it snowed, because it just made everything even more romantic and stupid.
Her boyfriend held a dinner to which he invited the most influential people, which came to him in wins, thinking only of your convenience. Maybe that's why Delilah, to sit at the table and start talking, felt the world was falling over. In fact, he thought, I know one iota to the people I've worked for so long and they did not know me. And that was not transient paranoia, but that lasted all evening. Finally, just before they brought the cake, he fled to the bathroom. She was not prone to vomit, but I used to always carry a bag of cocaine in case. Without her noticing, as Asad, who was his brother who had noticed immediately that something was not right, he followed her and stood waiting at the bathroom door.
When he left, Delilah was staring. He had been talking to a girl with curly hair and blonde to leave, as Asad called, laughed like a fool and said, Your boyfriend has been waiting. Delilah, in other circumstances, had not been flushed. But he did. And then she turned to him, with silver beaded bag in his hands, barely holding on their high heels.
"Well, Asad, you here, and giggled. He did not realize that his eyes did not focus well. He approached her, worried.
"Look, I saw that you're okay. No need for us to stay if you want. We can go. I'll buy you a cake.
"You're a reckless idiot," she growled. My boyfriend bought me this cake. And tiramisu, my favorite. Are you implying that I'm having fun? -La laugh again bubbled up to her throat. Who are you to suggest that? You, you're never? You, you left me alone?
He ran a finger under the nose. Then, the bag fell to the ground. And she, going to catch him, lost his balance and fell as well. He extended his hand.
"Help me up.
- What's the matter, Delilah?
"I said help me.
- Have you drunk?
- Oh, how scary! Did you tell Dad?
-brat. Get up, we go.
"No, I do not want.
"Oh yes.
"Do not.
"Yes.
-No.
"Yes.
- Noooo.
the ground up, grabbed her arm and dragged out, making sure that the people who was still sitting on the table and did not seem to miss the presence of the birthday-not realize that they left. She complained, Asaaad, Asaaad by favooor , but he got into the cab of a push.
Once inside, grabbed her face and looked carefully. It was not alcohol. But he refused to admit himself to any other variant. His sister was a drug addict, was not. Although always cagara but still be so immature that he called in the morning to complain. It was Delilah. Delilah looked like a good girl.
"I'll say, heavy. I snorted, "happy? I've got a couple of lines of cocaine.
Lie. Delilah was not good. She was the opposite to that concept. Suddenly looked up and realized how much had changed. He seemed tired of being herself.
"I have disappointed.
And, contrary to what might be expected, she gave a scathing response. He said "Shut up, you're not Dad," but stood looking at him, stunned by the drug.
- What? He asked. What? What?
"I've heard, but his voice was too harsh to their ears, so that Assad made an effort, inspired and continued," What happened to you, Delilah? Why do you look tired in the world? Before smiling. Now you look just as false as the rest, wrapped in an aura of hypocrisy that makes you seem distant and mysterious in the eyes of others, but not mine. When you called me all those nights you thought you were just complaining, you had a tantrum of yours, a little girl. But that's not the problem. The problem is that you've become an adult in just four years. In a sad woman, who is ashamed of herself.
She began to mourn. He tried to hold her, but Delilah pulled away and left the taxi, who had just arrived at their destination. His apartment was on the third floor and as he did not think, started up the stairs. Along the way he fell heels, each a step, but did not stop to pick them up. Nobody had ever done so much damage.
Nobody ever had this much truth .
closed the front door, triumphantly, thinking that now prevent his brother from entering. But he also had a key, had given itself the first time I went to visit, so I took a few seconds later.
-Delilah, I'm sorry, I did not hurt, really. I just want you to see ... you see what happened to you, so that it can change. It is for your sake, Do not you understand?
-Forget.
- How long ago did you take drugs?
"You do not understand.
"No, I need you to tell me. Tell me. But not like when you call me to tell your hairdresser ignores you and that always makes an awful hairstyle. I want to talk about truth. I know you're not as shallow as you pretend.
She pulled away. And with her makeup smeared with tears, her black satin dress and bare feet in stockings, slipped into his room before he could alcalzarla and locked.
It was dark. He called many times. Then he got tired. He knew because he heard his footsteps as he left. Delilah's head was so dull thoughts he was shocked when one of them only came to light, and began to remember, half amused and half scared.
One does not give kisses on the mouth of his younger brother. A good girl, at least not . Delilah was agreed to be in a place with friends, recalled that it was very cold and she was very drunk. Asad had grown so much over the past summer, when Dora saw it, began to whistle. Delilah pretended to vomit. He approached, took her hand and took it. He seemed nervous in the midst of all those people who drank and was dedicated to urinate in public as if this was perfectly normal, and she thought it was because it was the first time I drank, I did those things for teenagers. But it was not. not know what to do, he confessed, without looking at me like a girl . She loves me, is called Felhina. But it happens to me as if I did not exist. A Delilah that he was funny. His brother perfect, diminished by a girl. Where? he asked. He said it with his hand. Does blonde girl face of bread? Is that? muttered to chop.
"Look, whatever. I should not have said anything. I'm an idiot.
She laughed a laugh as he picked clean of the sweatshirt. He looked at her, watching this girl eating it with your eyes. Delilah bit his lip.
"I've thought a lot, Asad. I know how to make the case. You see, "hesitated. Just a little. I was drunk, and was young but had no prejudices, yet hesitated. You have to make him jealous.
made to bend. Asad had black hair and brown eyes. Anglo did not seem, in fact, she sometimes joked and said that he belonged to his family, which was actually an Arab. She was high but, still, stood on tiptoe. It was very cold and was very drunk.
That was his excuse for having eaten his brother's mouth. Maybe a bit poor, but enough to put him kiss-free language, was not so blatant, as he pulled it forward. And Asad not moved, as if paralyzed. Until finally responded by giving a push. Delilah was laughing at that for days. Asad did not return to her eyes in a long time.
But the fact that the eyes of faith (that was how he called his brother) fell on him at that right moment and, however much he denied Asad, Delilah knew that he had noticed that. And he said, as he put his hand on his thigh and bit her tongue Asad, thinking I'm holding , but did not know exactly what-that she should be the godmother of her first child, since he had made perfect matchmaker.
Delilah stood. I was tired of wearing the dress, so full of negative energy (in the end, the influence of his mother had had an effect) because of the horrible dinner and fight with his brother, so I took it off. When you leave your room, ran on tiptoe to the bathroom and there he got rid of the paint run and began to clear water. Then, with stockings, panties and black lace bra, went into the guest room without flash. Asad slept with the black suit and crumpled up yet. Delilah was angry with him for so many reasons that could not list them all, for having believed the right to criticize, because he was jealous (of him, his perfect life), because blaming him for having sabotaged the party, he was a cocky, believed to be a good person when she knew it was not. She was convinced that Assad also played a role before the world.
I hated it. He hated his brother for a hypocrite, a liar, to try to fix it forever, as if she were wrong, like a doll with a perfect exterior, but its mechanism failed. She climbed into bed quietly, climbed on top of it with such care that no one dared to rely on not to wake her belly. She looked at him, her eyes closed, and realized he looked just as helpless when she cried. In the background appeared. It was cold and felt sad Delilah there, there and in that situation.
Then I understood. It was a flash of common sense that came at the same time that was the feeling that his body weighed because of cocaine. I had always wanted. He had loved in a way that was not good, nor healthy, nor balanced as Asad. But so uneasy and unbalanced, unhealthy.
then recalled how he bent over the toilet, on the table of his house, on the dressing room toilet, the way we hoped and got into the nose white powder, recalled how full felt, and that feeling of being mingled with guilt, the two feelings struggling in the interior, this is fine with the should leave.
do not hate you, he thought, not envy you, do not I have jealousy. The problem is that I always knew could never have you. She bent over him, resting her head between the hollow of his shoulder, and dropped her body because she was very tired, he closed his eyes. He moved, he lifted his arm and took her hair. Then his hands went down her back, which shook the contact.
- What are you doing here? -Heavy voice, hoarse.
was still half asleep, still not sure what he was doing. But I knew it was her, Delilah. He kept touching her, his hands running through the skin of the arms, neck, sides and back. She trembled, and he wanted to believe that it was cold, so he continued touching her.
got up. Could see in the dark. He closed his eyes and leaned her forehead against his. He did not need more, just needed Asad say I'll be here, I will not leave you alone , then your happiness would be complete. But then, he sought the mouth. He took the neck and pushed her down as she covered her lips. Was kissing her. Her heart pounded on his chest and was in turn beat Asad. Seemed safe and strong, determined, like he was not nervous. She had red cheeks and accepted the situation without saying a word, he accepted that he tuck the tongue in the mouth and did not intend to move to avoid it.
hands had gone some time, but Delilah and not even noticed. Did not notice the lack of contact until she felt his fingers on the lace trim of her bra. She, who had been so released, he felt so embarrassed when he got the rings and left him naked breasts under the bra fitted turned away wincing.
"So many years," he whispered, hoarsely. So many years since that kiss on the square. You have no idea what that meant for me. I masturbated thinking about my sister a year and seven months older than me. Imagine that came back, you came to my room at night without saying a word. Like now. It's a dream, right? You must be a dream. But would not be leaving me do this.
"You're a pervert" Her breathing ragged. You're a fucking pervert, Asad.
"Funny. Even I dream of insulting me.
He grabbed her waist and she had to close her eyes when she felt his tongue on her neck. He was fooling himself, because the feeling was too real to be dreamed, but the idea of being butted against the crotch of her sister was too, too much to not try to fight it by convincing themselves that it was not true.
Delilah knew she was guilty of what was happening, that she had sought, silly unaware of what could happen if the playing is going to blows. So he began to struggle with him, trying to to release her, but all I got was getting tired. I was fighting against itself, and basically knew that the battle had been lost forever. He sat up a bit and stroked his cheek. "Forgive me if I hurt you," whispered what more it made sense to her at that moment and then turned away to sit on the mattress beside him. He stroked her shoulder, staring at her face, eyes, lips, nose and cheekbones, not necessarily in that order. Delilah took off her panties and stockings then, she left her bra. Then he unbuckled his belt and pants, and pulled down until they both fell to the ground. I kissed her lips once, twice, many times, chaste kisses and simple. When he entered and sat down on his belly again, Asad's hand fell from her cheek to her lips, then followed the route of his neck and passed through his chest to the navel.
She did everything. She got up, she reached under his shorts and she guided with one hand on his chest.
"It's not a dream," he said, once everything was inside. It is a dream, "he repeated, as if he had not heard.
-Delilah. "I put a lock of hair behind her ear. One hand on the bottom of your back to force her to bend down. I already-closed her eyes when she started moving and her brown hair fell over the dark cloth of his jacket. I already knew. And I love you. "She gasped, her eyes closed, the fringe to the eyebrows, lips parted. I love you, even if you're a fucking pervert.
laughed. Or at least it seemed that laughing. It was not bad. Delilah has never been bad, or superficially. Delilah looked like a sweet girl because she was, was loving it caressed her cheek and kissed him when time, and was tender, and moved to decline.
Asad, he sighed, when he began to keep pace, Asad , turned to whisper, his voice breaking, after a few minutes. His heart and yours, and suddenly everything seemed much easier and warmer. He collapsed on his chest, fingers bent over the cloth of his white shirt, and he kept moving as she said I know why you called it that, I know you're going to protect me, that you're going to save ; and the last thing he said when he was leaving, because basically wanted then and did not remember.
Then he took off his jacket and shirt, and looked into the darkness before the quilt that had stopped at the foot of the bed. After a few minutes, she spoke again;
-Asad.
"What.
I can not sleep. Tell me a story.
He grunted.
"No way. Let me sleep.
his arm around her waist. She moved closer, stroking his cheek and jaw with the fingertips.
-Asad.
-Hmm.
-Say my name.
She huddled in the gap between chin and chest, even though at that stage there was no pillow.
-Delilah. -A second, a pause. Delilah, Deli ...
... lah, Delilah, Delilah until he fell asleep.
The next morning, she wanted to become his bride. He wanted to play the role of the perfect girlfriend Asad, who served breakfast in bed naked. Unlike her, he felt the weight of guilt just open your eyes. A simple put something up, fuck , sparked the fight. She gave him glass of juice, which was plastic, not glass, not wanting to hurt, "then the pillow, and finally he left slamming the door and Delilah, who had hastily fastened the shirt he wore the night above, knelt beside the door and cried. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry . He also cried, just a few inches away from her, but so far, far from being tranquil and peaceful, just think about losing her sister. The blame, society, his father, his mother, had so many girls, so many thousands and millions worldwide, and he had just to look at her sister, finishing, hopelessly prominently above all.
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